Things noobs say to you ...

Client: Can you make an animated 3D scene of a street traffic with 5 cars rigs and people walking (+ some more specific animations, including blend shapes), we need it done and rendered in 2 days?

Me: Sure, it will cost you 2500 euros because I’ll need to hire a 4 person team and a render farm to get it done in time

Client: OK, never mind…

kops said
Just received this from a new client:

Hi guys, please see the email from an old friend. How does Google work?!!!!!

sigh

hahaha!

Many client try to sniff in most what is the cost for you work, it’s hard for them to understand why they buy $10 file and the custom charge start from 90 dollar and up, this market is full with nonprofessional buyer`s so sometime i understand where it’s coming from …

Enabled said
“My nephew is a web designer for xx years now, he said you’re extremely expensive ”

Is your nephew a full time web designer?

” Oh gosh no, he works at a restaurant, but he web designs in his free time. “

Ouuuukayyyy

hahaha.. I just made that “Ouuuukayyyy” sound to my self with rolling eyeballs

“Can I use InsertName WordPress plugin on a HTML website?”

... its gonna be a long day.

“I’ll check the code and if it works, i’ll pay ”
“But that site is offering single domain license of xx, i’m looking for a cheap CUSTOM solution “

duotive said
Found this on clients from hell but it’s priceless

Client: What would it take for you to add this feature to the site?
Me: Money.

lol

C.R.E.A.M.

JamiGibbs said

OrganicBeeMedia said
I’m a web developer and my client wants to change the font color…. How do,I do that?

So true.

If I had nickel for every time I’ve gotten this one…but being the nice guy I am I always help.

girlscancode said
I have one almost as good :)) My boyfriend is a computer programmer (C#, heavy stuff like that). In our building were living only old and very old people, with minimum to no experience with computers. One of the sweet old ladies heard about my boyfriend’s skills and came knocking to our door: “Son, I heard you are a programmer, would you please come and program my TV, I don’t know what’s wrong with it!”. Best part: he went and “programmed” the darn thing – that meaning he set up the TV programs in a certain order :)))

Haha, yeah, happened to me once as well

Client: You said it’s covered in the FAQs, I checked the documentation and don’t see it.

Me: The FAQs and documentation are 2 different things; idiot proof url to FAQs goes here